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February 1st, 2004

09:03 pm - Phone Post VoicePost 130K 0:37 (no transcription available) (you hung up without pressing #. posting privately in case it was an accident.)

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December 17th, 2003

04:04 pm If you're going to post an anonymous comment, make sure you leave your e-mail so I can respond, otherwise I can't answer you. To get a journal, go to livejournal.com and sign up <3

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December 16th, 2003

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December 15th, 2003

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08:20 am I wish I had beautiful words To even proceed in attempt to tell you how I feel But my mouth remains a trap And my heart remains a mystery ...to you Current Mood: good

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December 11th, 2003

09:53 pm This is cool. I took it from dele Instructions: 1. Copy this whole list into your journal. 2. Bold the things that you have in common with me. 3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you. 01. I love roller-skating. 02. My favorite color is purple. 03. My birthday is in March. 04. I'm very understanding. 06. Sometimes I wonder if anyone understands. 07. I type really fast. 08. I also hate people who TypE LyKe D1s. 09. Chocolate ice cream is my fav. 10. I love music. 11. I don't know who I'm going to prom with yet. 12. I have a job. 13. whenever i go over hills in my car i get butterflies in my tummy. 14. I hate 2 faced people . 15. I love mashed potatoes w/ BUTTA. 16. I have never broken anything in my body. 17. I don't have my license...yet. 18. I love learning about fate,soulmates,past,present. 19. I love making people laugh and smile 20. I want to get my nose pierced. 21. I hate driving in the winter. 22. I love blasting music and cleaning my room. 23. I love fall and winter. 24. I love roasting marshmallows over a fire. 25. I'm creative. 26. Im not going to college right away. 27. I love hearing new kinds of (good) music. 28. I'm not a shy person but come across that way to some people. 29. I wish i had motivation to workout daily. 30. i don't have a favorite song 31. I like play fighting. 32. I am compassionate. 33. I have dyed my hair at least 3 colors. 34. I always wanted to be a cashier when I was little. 35. I am very sensitive. 36. I am more forgiving than I should be at times. 37. I love reading. 38. I was a cheerleader. 39. I love singing in my car. 40. I think everyone should post this on their journal. 41. I really enjoy thoughtful gifts, even if they cost nothing. 42. I love John Mayer. 43. I despise spiders. 44. I love good lyrics/poems. 45. I hate funerals. 46. I loved playing with Barbies. 47. I don't have a favorite number. 48. I love bath products. 49. I love being online. 50. I love chick flicks. 51. I like silence at times. 52. I've been to a few concerts. [Laura sidenote: if by a few, you mean over 100, haha] 53. I am learning how to play guitar. 54. The things I eat I'm surprised I'm not 400 lbs. 55. i like being with my friends. 56. I speak some Spanish and some German. 57. I love the city life. 58. I like getting my hair/nails done. 59. I fake tan. 60. I love head massages while getting my hair shampooed. 61. I have a cat. 62. I've been to Mexico. 63. I live in Pennsylvania. 64. I'm scared of growing up. 65. i love the care bears. 66. I hate when I feel like people are annoyed with me. 67. I'm a virgin. 68. I hate when my nose is runny. 69. I love reality shows. 70. I love purses. 71. I love going to hockey games. 72. I can make people laugh. 73. I feel a lot of people need to act more mature. 74. I hate people who yell for nothing. 75. I love babies. 76. I hate my dad sometimes. 77. I'm picky. 78. I like watching the sunset/sunrise. 79. I love being at the beach. 80. I have never tried sushi. 81. I love rollercoasters. 82. I hate it when girls walk around wearing next to nothing and complain when guys look. 83. Subway is my fav place to eat. 84. I would like to see Italy. 85. I love snow. 86. I love hot chocolate. 87. I love magazines. 88. I like finding a bargain. 89. I love swimming. 90. I hate feeling lonely. 91. I sometimes trust people too easily. 92. I love accesories. 93. I like the exchanging of presents. Especially the giving. 94. I need money. 95. I have loved someone...other than family/friends. 96. I like to be needed. 97. I hate waiting in long lines. 98. I have two brothers. 99. I want kids someday. 100. i love dancing. Current Mood: calm Current Music: On My Cross // FFH

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December 10th, 2003

10:58 pm - Santa, I just want... Dear Santa, This year for Christmas I want someone to dance with to these beautiful slow songs. This amazingly beautiful collaboration of sincere words that blend together with an outstanding musical instrument and together mesh into a beautiful slow song that two people in love can dance to and enjoy. I want to have someone to hold. I want someone to have a great conversation with where you can discuss anything in the world and even if you disagree, you can accept each other's differences and beliefs. I want to cuddle close by the fire in the wintertime and fall asleep on his shoulder with his arm around me and a blanket keeping the warmth from escaping either of our bodies. I want him to whisper in my ear and run his fingers through my hair until I've fallen asleep. Someone who can laugh at my sometimes silly humor. Someone who can make me laugh till I can't breathe. I want to walk hand in hand in big cities, and just like in the movies, I want to go to a huge, expensive store where I know I can't afford anything, just to try outfits on and model them for him and have him tell me I'm beautiful and mean it. I want to sit on the beach wall at night, watching teenagers and older couples walk past, hand in hand, laughing and joking, just enjoying their freedom. His arms around me, just taking in the ocean breeze and the strong smell that comes with being at the beach that you only smell when you see through your heart's eyes. When the world feels free and troubles so far away, even though the road trip there seemed like days. I want someone to kiss and hold. Someone to have to call at night and hear his voice on the line just before falling asleep. Someone who only says 'I Love You' when he means it. I want someone who can write beautiful words. I want someone who can look at a picture of a poor child sitting on the side of a New York street and see something so beautiful in it that it brings him to tears. I want something beautiful...I want to feel something so beautiful that it brings me to tears. Not something that I lack that brings me to tears of loneliness. I just want love ...I just want love... I know I'm a picky girl, but I suppose I'm willing to wait for him. I know he's out there somewhere. Love, Laura Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Goodbye // Jagged Edge

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December 9th, 2003

09:48 pm My fourth period study hall lasts from 10:06-10:52. It consisted of three pages of notebook paper and a pen I got for free from the High Institute on Thursday when we had a lady representative come speak on it. So, I used my free pen and my notebook paper to try and come up with something meaningful...something free...something that expressed what I felt in my heart and the somewhat craziness that goes through my head on rare occasion. But I couldn't find any words that I found to be successful in truly bringing my thoughts to life...so instead, I wrote: [page one] Scribbles among pages Words among scribbles Thin slices of tree crossed out in blue ink My name with yours As JL predicted It's all too familiar I'm afraid of falling too fast I don't know where you went... Blurred imaging effects My God is a designer Beautiful words [page two] I wish I could be with you in your town It seems that city never frowns The sunshine always radiates down Golden blonde locks Shops for blocks Designer jeans Photographic scenes Fresh scented air I inhale with each heartbeat Smiles alive and tears discreet Bags in hand Won't you take my free hand That tiny breeze the air makes It seems a little cooling [page three] I saw you peeking It made my morning You're fast asleeping While I'm daydreaming of tall glass windows Christmas air Your fingers captured in my hair You never were one to agree with the wind Don't be timid, grab my hand I want you to I want you, too Give me a car Give me keys All I need is a little cash And perhaps some company Hand me a map I'll find my way His scent still lingers like it was yesterday That will guide me to where he stays Not far away We can dance in the street Feel the ground beneath our feet Cuddle close on your sheets Or let our minds lead I wish my words would stop hiding in my throat Maybe this form of words just doesn't flow /end of my scribbling in study hall You make creative, beautiful words form in my mind, and you don't even realize it. I guess you're not mine to impress... =\ So I should just shoot my dream with a gun while I'm still seeking hope...it's all for the best. Current Mood: confused Current Music: Life Means So Much // Chris Rice

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December 1st, 2003

08:56 pm It's December 1st. I smell Christmas and I'm ready for snow. I read in Mandy[omenda]'s journal that it snowed today for like five minutes. I missed it because I was stuck in school where absolutely no one was. It was horribly boring. I thought I was going to topple over from boredom. You see, today was a make-up day for us. We were supposed to have off yet for break, but because we started late due to the stupid construction, I had to go. Most people didn't go or left early. However, it did have its goodness to it. In Government we took a pop quiz that we got to use our notes on and work with someone on...and we get 8 extra credit points on Friday's test. Those who weren't there, however, well...it sucks for them. And in Math the same thing happened...and in English, whoever wasn't there, Mr.Frymoyer wrote up. Haha. Sucks to be you people! So, it was really boring. Then I came home, hung out a bit, then drove to pick up my grandmother. My mom wanted me to get out on the windy roads up in the mountains...oh, what fun! Nah, it wasn't bad. I love it up there, though. I remember going up there Christmas Day last year when it snowed. It was so gorgeous. Snow everywhere, huge, beautifully decorated homes, snow everywhere. We drove up to get my grandmother and ended up stopping to take pictures once we reached the top. They're so beautiful. I'll have to post 'em then if I remember. I love Christmas. The whole season is just...wonderful and joyous. It's my favorite time of year. I love the snow. I hate being IN the snow for the most part, because I don't like being cold [snowball fights and tubing and sledding is major fun, though], but I love sitting in the warmth of my home, looking out the window as the snow falls...or laying down on the couch in my family room, in front of the fire, looking up through the skylights as it snows. I'd hate to live in Florida or somewhere down South where you don't get ANY snow and you have 70 degree weather on Christmas. I'm thankful for my 22 degree Christmas-like mornings with snow where you have to go warm up your car 20 minutes before driving it, so it's toasty and warm, thank you very much! Hehe. It's so beautiful I can't even stand it. Fires, warm blankets, hot cocoa, Christmas movies, Christmas music, happiness, singing, presents, decorations, snow...I love it all. I must say, though, I have yet to have a Christmas where I have "someone". [I don't think Christmas '01 really counts...maybe...but not really] I don't think it's ever really bothered me, because I see Christmas as a time for family. Having a significant other definitely adds to your joy, but I don't think it bothers me so much because I care so much about my family that I don't feel like I'm missing anything. It hit me most last year at our church's Christmas Eve service, though. But I quickly got over it, fortunately. This year I feel basically the same, but the same thought is still there. I just want someone to be in love with...to shower with presents...to cuddle with and just be happy with. Someone to share the happiness that Christmas brings at this special time of year. Someone to go see Christmas lights with, just so I can feel his arms around me when it's cold, but to see the beautiful sights and just enjoy it together. "When it comes to December, it's obvious why...no one wants to be alone at Christmas time..." -John Mayer ( love.this.song ) I was talking to Matt [Whiteley] last night online. Out of nowhere, I was just like, "I want to talk about something deep."...so, he asked what I wanted to talk about, and I asked him if he thought that there was one person out there for everyone. Like, just one specific person that God has picked just for you. I wanted to see what he thought. Then he asked what I thought, and I couldn't really answer directly. I told him I felt that it depended on your current relationship status. By this I mean, for instance, over the summer...June or July, I would've said, "Yes...God has one person picked just for you. It's up to you to find him/her and when you do, things will work out for the best." - but that was because I was in a relationship of some crazy sort...now that that's gone, and it ended on a bad note with nothing but scars left as proof that it ever existed, my mind shoots directly to, "I don't know...at one time I thought that, but...I don't know." - To be honest, it bothers me and almost disappoints me that I think that, but it seems only natural. I guess I still believe God has one person picked for me...the pessimisstic view of it is only because I thought I had it, and I was either wrong, or I was right and things will work out...and that's a whole topic in itself that we won't even get into... So, I guess I'm interested to see what you guys think. I recall asking this over the summer, too, but I don't think many people responded. Just curious what your thoughts are on it in general. I want someone to cuddle with. Guess my nice, colorful Mexican blanket will have to do... ;o) Hehe. Night everyone. Hope you're enjoying what is December so far...<3 P.S. Jazz is great. I've really been more into Jazz lately. AOL Radio is awesome. Jazz reminds me of...something last year...May specifically...in Barnes and Noble...yep. Shutting up. Hehe. But yeah...Jazz is nice. G'nite...for real! :o) Current Mood: calm Current Music: Angel Eyes // Monty Alexander

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November 27th, 2003

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November 25th, 2003

10:30 pm - I was reading over my old journal today. My summer love journal. [http://www.livejournal.com/users/lauraaudrey] It made me sad. It retaught me things. It made me realize things. It woke me up to a lot I didn't see/feel/say/do in "the moment". It was overall interesting to reread and feel those things all over again in a sense. - Watching the final episode of The Real World was sad, as it always is, but seeing Ace's tears well up in his eyes in the car leaving the house did it. Here I sat bawling. Too sweet. Goodbyes suck. - I want someone to call "my boy" - like latethoughts, whom I'm so happy for. I had a boy, but now I don't, so I need a new boy. Any takers? ;o) - I'm seeing Mr.John Mayer tomorrow night in Baltimore! My favorite musical artist in my favorite city. Could it be any more perfect? Yes. I could have a camera. I only have my mom's digital camera, and my own. Hopefully I can get good shots with my mom's, since it has a zoom. I love that city. It has bright lights and dark skies and tall buildings and beautiful people and culture and...everything. I love it. And John singing "Back To You" and "Covered In Rain" and "Split Screen Sadness" and "Quiet" is gonna make me cryyyyyyyyyyy... - I have nothing else to say. I have these weird, mixed feelings all over inside me that I don't even know how to express. It's so jumbled I wouldn't know where to begin or how to even find the words to say to even come close to explaining them. Current Mood: complacent

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November 24th, 2003

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November 19th, 2003

10:35 pm Seeing through a hole in time Looking at this world of mine All the words we've had to say All the dreams to light the way It's been fine though we've been apart But it's only just begun Far away from home But baby, I'm not alone Lift me up Turn me around I'm gonna get my feet off the ground Sunrises in black and blue Sunsets say "I love you too" You said I had strength to stand my ground Said I had wings to fly far away from home But baby, I'm not alone Every day away hurts a little more But every day away is easy to ignore <3 <3 <3 Current Mood: okay Current Music: Lift Me Up // The Benjamin Gate <3 <3

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November 10th, 2003

10:41 pm - Haunting I held you once You slipped away I can't say goodbye To yesterday A four-sided cube A plush bedside A book full of tear-drenched pages And a black pen's scribbled verses Erase this mental state Wipe away all of my remembrances I don't want the memories The ones that stick and seep That drench my heart and cover my being And haunt me awake or asleep ------------------------- To bed I said... Current Mood: drained Current Music: My Immortal // Evanescence

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05:06 pm - True Self I say I'm glad to see you go And for the first time in my life I mean it Your true colors are shining through Exposing your true self more and more Which isn't as beautiful as you portray You come off fake Everything you do And everything you say Your actions They've always spoken louder than words I was just tuning them out Now they're relative Now I see My thoughts are fresh My mind is free And I'm so glad you're not with me Current Mood: irritated Current Music: Invisible // Clay Aiken <3

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November 9th, 2003

10:26 pm Three poems I've written recently. Two last week, one tonight. ( Breaths Before Midnight ) ( Mastered His Own Skill ) ( Rightful Owner ) Today was the first day I could feel your presence and walk away saying I didn't even look you in the eye. Not once. I didn't dare look at your face. You were so close, but I didn't dare steal a precious glance. I'm finally at this solace; this place in my head and heart where I am as close as possible to comfort in your presence, and I knew if I looked at you even once, and how you touch her and treat her as you did me, one more bruise would be added to the number you've accumulated in the past. And I'm too strong for that now. You may not see it when you look at me, but the girl you knew has gone away. You may laugh, you may think it's all just a phase, but I'm so much better off these days from the knowledge I've gained from past mistakes. I know better than to look in your beautiful eyes; all they do is tell lies. I hope you're as happy as you're pretending. You deserve it. False or not. P.S. I felt my hand tremble a time or two. I'm still trying to decide if it was all because of you... Current Mood: tired Current Music: Only One For Me // Brian McKnight <3 <3 <3

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November 1st, 2003

11:57 pm - Who needs the beach? Ordered a large pepperoni pizza just for myself. Watched Punk'd. Maria came over, surprisingly. Took a 4 minute shower. Went to Rainbow Rentals with her. Then to a Mexican store. Then to her house to see her parents, Abel, Natalia, her cousins, aunts and uncles who I haven't seen in forever. Then to WalMart. Then to Mickey D's. Then to my house. She parked in behind my dad's truck in the driveway, and I joked that she was taking after Matt, being that it was routine to do that over the summer whenever he dropped me off...to park, turn the car off and talk. She tried to make it better by turning the music up and trying to steal my purse. We only ended up scaring ourselves, because we had Relient K playing, and they have a hidden track...and if you've ever heard it, you know, it's all quiet, then all of a sudden this guy talks in a spooky voice. Yeah...we were definitely freaked out, sitting like idiots in her car in my driveway, screaming, thinking some guy was at the car or something. I got my keys and went in my house =D She left. I downloaded music. ["Milkshake" by Kelis is hot</b> - thanks Shibby (blazinbabii)] I printed out pictures and redid my entire planner. Talked to Andy [arawk] on the phone. Cleaned up this room big time, and my room a little bit. Watched Cheaters. Watched Cribs. [daaang, Aaron Carter has some nice stuff...] That's it. Church and shopping with Mom tomorrow. It's like she read my mind...she called around 4 and said, "I know you probably wanted to go shopping today, so we can do that tomorrow after church." Great minds think alike. I'm very vertical today. Have you noticed? Hehe...nitez. Current Mood: sleepy

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12:22 pm Dad: Hey Laura, how would you like to go to the beach tomorrow instead of church? Me: Whaaaat? Dad: Haha...yeah. Just to see God's beauty that way. Your mom and I were just talking about going up for the day just to walk around and stuff since it's nice. Me: Whaaaaat? *Mom gets home* Dad: Do you still wanna go? Mom: Yeah...we can just go today and spend the night. Dad: Oh, I didn't know you wanted to spend the night. Mom: Or not, we can just go for the day. Dad: Listen to this.*yells upstairs* Well Laura, we're gonna head up in a little bit and just come back later tonight. Me: Whaaaaat? Since when did my parents turn cool and start thinking like me? My parents are going to OCNJ for the day. I, the beach lovin' fool, am not. I'd absolutely love to, but too many things are holding me back from the temptation: -The only reason I'd really go is to take pictures, and I don't have a camera. -It'd be me and the 'rents. Thanks, but no thanks. -No shops are open. -I originally planned on, since today is my first free Saturday in a while, going shopping with my mom and getting new clothes and stuff, but I guess that's out, so now I'm trying to see if Nichole wants to go later. I'll probably do that. -This gives me an opportunity to seriously sit down and record my CD. I didn't have as much time as I planned this summer, so I didn't get many tracks recorded...and now I have better songs, too. -My room hasn't been cleaned in 2 months and there are clothes EVERYWHERE. -Laundry. Gotta do it, before my room is totally consumed in clothing. -I'm not prepared! Even if it is just for a day. What to wear...what to take...and again, no camera. I cannot go to the beach on a beautiful Autumn day without a camera... They better plan this again before the year is over, when I'm more prepared. I want to go to the beach in the Autumn/Winter...just not today. I'm not ready. Current Mood: amused Current Music: Why Georgia // John Mayer

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October 30th, 2003

10:41 pm God, he's gorgeous. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Your Love Never Changes // Paul Wright <3

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